


Echoes of History

by DefaltManifesto



Series: Becoming a Pack [4]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angsty Schmoop, Fingering, Hand Jobs, M/M, Reference to Hale Fire, Reference to past Derek Hale/Kate Argent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-03
Updated: 2013-05-03
Packaged: 2017-12-10 06:15:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/782759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaltManifesto/pseuds/DefaltManifesto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Derek wanted to tell him, but still something held him back, something told him that as long as his sins stayed between him and Kate's corpse in the ground, he could still have his pack and pretend everything was okay."</p><p>Sometimes the truth is the hardest thing to say. Because with the truth only comes pain and hate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Echoes of History

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from the Conquest of Spaces by Woodkid. This oneshot was not inspired by that song specifically but ah well. Hope you enjoy.

[Tumblr is here if you want updates.](http://schizzar.tumblr.com)

 

Sometimes, Derek would wake up in the middle of the night and fumble in his bedside dresser until he got his hands on the lighter he kept there. Isaac would watch as he flicked it on and off, inches from his face. A few times, he would pass a wet finger through the flame. Sometimes it would burn, but it always healed. It was a form of torture in a way, a slow torture that Isaac didn't even try to stop.

The nights he didn't sleep in Derek's bed, he trained himself to wake at the tiniest scent of fire. He would lie awake, by himself or sandwiched between Erica and Boyd, waiting until Derek's heartbeat calmed back down. The following morning of such nights, he would always make Derek breakfast, an easy feat to manage in the summer.

Derek had opened up to Isaac a bit here and there since the incident with the hunters, but mentioning his younger sister at the bonfire seemed to have triggered something in him. He was more withdrawn. He didn't talk with them as much as he used to, and he seemed to know what he was doing, because sometimes Isaac caught him staring at his betas with a look of longing like he missed them. The bond between them began to feel wrong.

Isaac wanted to do something, but he didn't know what.

 

-.-

 

Derek wasn't as socially oblivious as people said he was. He knew he was shoving his betas away, and he knew it hurt them, but he couldn't stop himself. Isaac held them together like a sticky glue, unable to let his pack, his family, fall apart. Derek didn't know how to snap himself out of it, and Isaac seemed equally lost.

And then one morning, he woke to the feeling of Isaac straddling the back of his thighs, thumbs sinking in to the knotted mess in his lower back. Derek buried his face in his arms, biting down on his bottom lip as Isaac began to push his shirt up. Derek let him do as he wished, raising his arms so it could be removed completely before going limp, too tired to even question what Isaac was playing at.

Isaac's fingers were long and thin, but powerful as they sought out Derek's knots and worked each of them out with a slow patience. It had been a long time since Derek had felt so relaxed, but he began to tense again as Isaac began to speak.

"My mom was a really sweet lady. She always smiled, no matter what. My dad treated her like a gem, like she was the reason he was even alive," Isaac said. "I always wondered if I could find someone that would love me the way they loved each other."

"Isaac-"

Isaac leaned down and kissed his jaw. "Just listen, okay?"

Derek forced himself to relax a bit more under Isaac's grip. "Okay."

Isaac returned to what he was doing, working out the tension that had begun to build once more in Derek's shoulders. "When she died, my dad just sort of snapped. He went from gentle and loving and doting on me and Camden to drunk and violent. It wasn't a slow change. People always say the slide into depression and into a total character reversal like that is slow, but it wasn't. Guess it just goes to show how much he loved my mom.

"Mostly he just hit Camden, at least until Camden became a really good swimmer. Then he didn't want to damage him because that was his _star boy_ after all. So I became the new target. And then Camden died and I was the only target for all that anger."

Isaac went quiet, and Derek tried to process everything the younger had said, figure out just what Isaac was telling him. He wanted to know everything about Isaac, but he didn't know what the motivation was.

"Then you came along." Isaac's fingers pressed up along his neck. "You saved me you know. I don't know how much longer I was going to survive with him. I loved him, what he used to be, and I was never going to raise a hand to defend myself. I actually...still miss him. But I'm happy the way things are, because I have you, and Erica, and Boyd, and maybe even Jackson and Lydia and Scott. You saved all of us. You don't have to hold onto the guilt of not being able to save everyone. You did your best. And that's all anyone's ever needed from you."

Isaac's hands stilled and he leaned down, kissing the side of Derek's temple. He slid off of the older and disappeared from the room, leaving Derek stretched out on his bed to muse over what Isaac had said. What he had been trying to say. What he meant.

 

-.-

 

Derek woke up with a start, hand scrabbling to grab at his lighter. It always brought him a source of comfort, a way to feel the fire, feel that while it hurt him, it would heal. It was like taking the hurt, the weapon, the disease, and desensitizing himself. Teaching himself that while it had killed his family, it couldn't kill him.

And maybe, part of it, was punishment. It was a way to feel some of the pain he had brought up on his family.

Isaac's hand closed around his, trying to pry the lighter away. "Please don't."

Derek rolled on his side to face him, not releasing the lighter, and eventually, the beta stopped trying, rolling onto his back so as not to look at the Alpha. Derek swallowed thickly, using his free hand to reach out and run his thumb along Isaac's jaw.

"I think I get what you were trying to do," Derek said quietly.  

Isaac turned to look at him, and even in the dark Derek could see his eyes, the desperate and hurt look that seemed to shine in them. "Really?"

"You're trying to show me that it's okay to open up. That you aren't going to run away. That I don't need _this-"_ Derek flicked the lighter on for a moment "-to feel okay. That I have you."

"You do have me," Isaac said. "You have all of us. Why won't you let us help you?"

Derek turned to look up at the ceiling. "I...because what happened _was_ my fault Isaac. What your dad did you, to your brother, there was nothing you could've done to stop that. If it weren't for me, my family would still be alive."

"You can't know that," Isaac said.

"No, I know it," Derek said. "I was the one that-" He cut himself off and threw the lighter across the room, which he supposed Isaac must have seen as progress.

The younger shifted on the bed and then clicked on one of the lamps, bathing the room in a soft, dim glow. Derek gave a resigned sigh. Isaac wasn't going to let it go, that much was obvious. He pushed himself up into a sitting position as Isaac turned to face him.

Isaac had grown a lot in the last few months, going from awkward and scared puppy, to a teen overflowing with fake confidence, to the strong individual before him, ready to hear his burdens.

"How could it possibly be your fault?" Isaac asked softly.

Derek wanted to tell him, but still something held him back, something told him that as long as his sins stayed between him and Kate's corpse in the ground, he could still have his pack and pretend everything was okay. He must not have been guarding his expression as well as he thought, because Isaac was suddenly crowding his space, lips on his jaw, his cheeks, his neck, hands sliding under his shirt and rubbing at his back. The beta was whining softly, and that more than anything drew Derek back out of his head. Letting out a sigh, he pulled Isaac into his lap.

"Sorry," he said.

"Your heart was racing. I think you were about to have a panic attack or something," Isaac said.

"Well you brought me back."

"I'll always bring you back," Isaac said. "No matter what you've done, or think you've done, I'm not leaving you to suffer alone because you didn't leave me on my own when I needed someone most."

Derek let out a soft, bitter chuckle into his beta's neck. "I'm the worst person to have as your Alpha Isaac. I played on your emotions to convince you to be a part of my pack. I wasn't looking out for you then, I was looking out for me. I've always been looking out for me."

He could feel Isaac shrug, but the beta's long fingers didn't cease their soft combing motions through his short hair. "Maybe you did. Actually, looking back on it, you definitely did. But that's okay, because things are different now and I'm happy with the way things turned out. And I know you care about us now, and that's what matters, right?"

"Yeah," Derek said.

"I won't think differently of you, whatever it is that you're keeping inside," Isaac said.         

"It's not you that matters!" Derek hissed against his neck, claws sinking into the fabric of Isaac's shirt. "It's me. I'm not worried about you judging me, because that doesn't matter. I know the truth."

"If you were saying that to try and make me mad, or hurt me, it didn't work," Isaac said, his tone infuriatingly patient. "Whatever this is, it's killing you. I'm not saying it'll magically make everything better, but I felt better after telling you those things. Sure it might not have been bad at whatever you're locking up in your chest, but I'm not going to judge you, and more importantly, I'm not going to betray you."

Derek's breathing hitched for a moment. "You're really good at knowing what to say."

"Eh, it's a skill. Gotta have something going for me," Isaac said with a short, disparaging laugh.

"Don't say things like that about yourself," Derek said.

Isaac ran his knuckles along the base of Derek's spine. "That's not something we need to talk about right now. Just tell me. I won't say anything, if you don't want me to."

Derek tugged Isaac even closer, closing his eyes and drowning himself in the younger's scent. He had grown used to having it around him all the time, in his bed, clinging to his clothes, his body. The other betas left their scents too, but Isaac's wrapped around him like a second skin. The fear he wasn't aware had been there began to trickle away with every deep inhale of his beta's scent until finally, the words began to pour out, not stopping for his brain's permission.

"Kate Argent. She must have suspected something, but she wanted proof. Real proof. She was a lot older than me at the time, about ten years. I was just a hormonal sixteen year old, and she was attractive. She made me fall in love with her. She was sweet, and charming, and I guess I learned how to manipulate people from her. Nothing like first hand experience.

"I wanted her to meet my family. I wanted to share everything with her. I knew my parents would be put off by her age, so I hadn't told them who she was, or how old she was. I told her what we were. She didn't seem too shocked, and in hindsight, that should have tipped me off. She didn't wait long. The day she was going to come over for dinner, a week after I told her, I came home to my house burning. I tried to get in, but Laura held me back, threw me on the ground and knocked me out somehow.

"When I woke, Laura was gone and Kate was just....there. She knelt down, told me it was my fault, told me if I hadn't been such a predictable, hormonal teenage boy, I wouldn't have lost my family. She tazed me, and I guess I lost consciousness again. I woke up in the hospital with Laura after that. I asked Laura if she knew who did it, but she said they had no clue.

"No one knew but me. Kate hadn't told Laura what she had done. She left that secret to me, to burn in my chest. I think she wanted me to suffer the most. The guilt was a slower way to kill me than burning alive after all."

Derek's claws sunk into the flesh of Isaac's back, the anger, the rage all directed at himself becoming too much to hold back the wolf. Isaac didn't flinch, fingers only curling around the fabric of Derek's shirt. He was such a hypocrite, always talking about how his betas needed an anchor to hold them down and keep them in control, when his own anchor was his own hatred for himself. Not much good that did.

Isaac's hands gripped his jaw hard, jerking his face up and he caught a flash of golden eyes before his lips were taken in a harsh kiss. Derek fought it, claws ripping Isaac's shirt as he bit down on his beta's lower lip, hips bucking and writhing as Isaac shoved him down on the bed. One hand twisted around Derek's neck, cold, like ice. He jerked, tearing his lips away from Isaac's and gasping as Isaac went still above him.

As his eyes refocused, he saw Isaac's veins glowing with a muted red light, pulsing and then fading away. Isaac gave a soft whine, hunching over him as Derek went limp beneath him, the anger and hate bleeding away. Isaac's hand went limp too, as did the rest of him. Derek let out a light huff as Isaac collapsed on top of him, one hand running down Isaac's back through the ragged cuts of his shirt.

"What did you do?"

Isaac trembled and took a deep breath. "Deaton...said we could absorb pain. So I tried to do that. But this isn't like it was before."

"Idiot," Derek murmured. "That's not something I'd wish on anyone."

"Yeah well, you're calm now, yeah?" Isaac's voice was a soft pant in his ear.

"I won't be if you aren't okay," Derek said.

"Mmm, just keep doing that. I don't think I can move," Isaac mumbled.

Derek gave a soft smile, surprised at how light his chest felt, as if all the hate and anger and blame he had felt was gone. The idea that it was all inside Isaac now was worrisome, but the beta didn't feel distraught, just tired.

"Thank you...for letting me say all of that," Derek whispered.

Isaac had enough strength to nuzzle his neck. "You needed to tell someone. I don't think...the anger I pulled out of you is a permanent solution. But...if you want to work through it properly...I want to work through it with you."

Something clenched in Derek's chest. He couldn't possibly deserve Isaac's devotion and love. Part of him wanted to say yes, but he was terrified. The hatred for himself had become so normal, it was like a safety blanket, and he felt naked and vulnerable even with it just temporarily gone.

"I don't think I can. I don't know if I _want_ to," Derek said.

"That's okay," Isaac said. "I'll be here if you change your mind. But if you don't....I'll still be here."

Isaac's voice was tired and half mumbled and Derek listened as his heartbeat slowed down and his breathing deepened until sleep claimed him. He supposed perhaps he could try. If not for himself, than for Isaac. He shook his head, burying his face in Isaac's neck. His pack was full of broken teens, with an even more broken Alpha trying to make it all work. How they hadn't fallen apart and been destroyed he didn't know, but he owed it to them to try and fix himself, and them. Because that's what the pack did. Hadn't he been telling them that all along?

 

-.-

 

Derek woke to soft kisses peppering over his jaw and neck. Sunlight was streaming through the window, and with a yawn and a stretch, he opened his eyes to see Isaac smiling down at him, a hand on either side of his head. His shirt was gone, letting Derek get a good long look at the lean, pale chest, finally starting to fill in with muscle. Before he had moved in with Derek, Isaac was borderline malnourished, but now, it was all Derek could do to keep himself from running his hands all over the beta.

He did it anyways, because he could, and because Isaac arched into the touch with a breathless whimper of his name. He thumbed over Isaac's nipples, watching and feeling the ripples the move created. Isaac was beautiful like this, the stress melted away from his face, leaving behind just pleasure and a sleepy contentment in his gaze when his eyes met Derek's.

Derek ran his hands down Isaac's side and over his back, frowning when he felt the small claw marks he had left on the younger's back. Isaac brushed away the expression with a kiss.

"Don't worry about it," he said, swiping his tongue over Derek's lower lip.

"I hurt you," Derek said.

"Mm, and I've hurt you before, it's okay," Isaac said.

"When did you get so grown up?" Derek asked, rubbing his lips over Isaac's jaw as his thumbs toyed at the edge of Isaac's sleep pants.

"Still got a lot more to do," Isaac said. He ducked his head, worrying at Derek's neck with his teeth.

"God, don't get any taller," Derek said with a quiet chuckle.

Isaac smiled against his throat, then ground his hips down into the space between Derek's hip and his groin, turning Derek's laugh into a groan. He shoved his hands down the younger's pants to grip his ass, encouraging Isaac to rub harder against him.

The beta did so, and when Derek began to shove his pants down, he squirmed to help, kicking them off to the foot of the bed. His cock was dripping, smearing along the cloth of Derek's pants, and the scent of it made Derek's own arousal spike. Isaac was always responsive to Derek's touch, and while they agreed Derek wouldn't be taking him until he was 18, that left a lot for him to do.

He had taken his time with Isaac, especially since he was still learning to take positive touch. The younger was like an attention-starved puppy some days, leaning into every touch and caress Derek smoothed down his body. Others, he'd recoil. Today wasn't one of those days. Gently, he nudged at Isaac, rolling the taller onto his back and straddling his thighs.

Isaac smiled up at him with a lazy spread of his lips, eyes at half mast as Derek ran his hands up the younger's sides, over tiny scars inflicted long before he had become a werewolf. Derek kissed each one, then slid down to lick at Isaac's hip. One of Isaac's hands moved to cup at the back of his head, searching for purchase but finding none in Derek's short hair.

Derek grabbed his wrist and brought it to his lips to suck at each of his fingers. Isaac shivered a Derek's other hand slid up his side, trailing over his skin to watch the muscles jump and spasm. He let Isaac's long fingers slide out of his mouth with an obscene pop, smiling at the flush breaking out all over the younger's skin.

"Hand me the lube," Derek said, pulling back up to straddle Isaac's thighs.

Isaac took a few deep breaths before reaching one lanky arm up to reach into the bedside dresser. He passed the lube into Derek's hand. Derek slicked up his fingers, warming them with a puff of air, his gaze never leaving Isaac's. Isaac glanced away, but there was still a hint of a smile on his face. Derek stroked his jaw with his free hand, the motion soothing out the bit of tension in Isaac's body. Eye contact still wasn't something Isaac was always comfortable with.

He moved his slick fingers down, sliding over Isaac's cock, then his balls, and then finally a firm stroke over his entrance. Derek watched as Isaac spasmed, whimpering at the touch. With a quiet noise of comfort, he slid the first finger in, watching Isaac's reaction with a careful eye. He whined softly, hips arching up. It amazed Derek each time to see Isaac slip into a pleasured haze, the fear of touch that so constantly simmered beneath his skin fading, just for a little while. He leaned down for a kiss, giving a muffled groan when Isaac suckled at his lower lip, teeth nipping at it as his hips rolled into Derek's finger.

The younger's warmth clamped down on his digit. Derek had only ever used one finger before, but the way Isaac was responding, hips jerking as he gasped out Derek's name into the Alpha's mouth, it made him want to try just one more. Drive him right over the edge until he was weeping with pleasure. He stroked a finger over Isaac's hole, and the younger jerked and whined, eager for it. Derek licked inside his mouth, tasting his tongue, sliding over every surface as his second finger began to sink in and stretch. Isaac's hands slid up Derek's arms, long fingers wrapping tight around with the barest hint of claw. He sighed into Derek's mouth and forced himself to relax.

Derek grinned against Isaac's lips and Isaac broke the kiss. Normally, he'd applaud Isaac's effort at relaxation, but that wasn't his goal, not this time. The Alpha crooked his fingers to brush at the perfect spot, the spot that had Isaac arching back and letting out a deep moan.

"Derek, Please!"

Derek kissed Isaac's jaw, licking over it. "What do you need, puppy?"  
            

Isaac jerked beneath him. Derek slid his hand up to fist in Isaac's hair, nosing along his jaw as his fingers continued to pump into Isaac, stroking at the spot within him.

"Can you come like this? Just this? My fingers buried in you, my hand in your hair?" Derek's words were whispers pressed tight to Isaac's jaw, and his beta, his beautiful love, broke beneath him and covered their stomachs with his seed.

He eased his fingers out of Isaac, wiping the lube off on the sheets before running his hand along the younger's side soothingly. Isaac shivered against him as his arms flopped down to the bed, limp and useless. Derek continued to scent along Isaac's jaw and neck until finally, with a contented sigh, the younger tossed an arm loosely over Derek's lower back. Their lips met in a sloppy and slow kiss, more like breathing into one another's mouths than an actual kiss.

"As fantastic as that was," Isaac said, easing out of the kiss. "We still need to talk."

Derek smirked against his jaw. "Figured." He rolled off of Isaac and sat up, tugging Isaac back up with him. "What about?"

"What you told me last night," Isaac said. He took Derek's hands in both of his. "I get...why you blame yourself. I can't tell you it isn't your fault. But I think you're going to have to forgive yourself eventually. The pain I felt? You're burning yourself up from the inside out."

For once, it was Derek that couldn't meet Isaac's eyes. He knew his beta was right. He had seen the glowing poison of his pain and self-hatred in Isaac's veins, and that was proof enough. He tugged Isaac closer and buried his face in the younger's neck.

"I don't know if I can," he said after a moment.

Isaac's long arms wrapped around him. "Well it's like you always told me. Nothing is an overnight process. Not control, not training, and I guess not forgiveness either."

Derek ran a hand down Isaac's spine. "Sure you're not grown up, puppy? You sound wiser than me these days."

"Everything I say I learned from you," Isaac said. "You're not so bad of an Alpha."

"Oh really?" Derek pulled back to press his forehead to Isaac's, a hint of a smile on his lips. "At least I've got that going for me."

"Got a bit more than that," Isaac said. He leaned forward to suck Derek's lower lip between his teeth.

The arousal that had died during their conversation reawakened at the move and Isaac straddled his still clothed hips. Derek groaned, arms wrapping around Isaac's back with his hands fisting back into Isaac's hair. Through the thin material of his pants, he could feel the dampness of the lube from Isaac on his cock. The feeling filled his mind with images of the beta speared on his cock and leaking his cum. Isaac sucked hungrily on his tongue as he rocked in Derek's lap, riding him. Derek's hips jerked up when Isaac pulled out of the kiss to nip and suck at the Alpha's ear.

"Bet you can't wait to do this for real? Bury yourself inside your puppy?" Isaac tugged at his earlobe. "I can't wait for it either."

He twisted in Derek's tight grip, shoving Derek's pants far enough out of the way to get a hand around his cock. Derek leaned back, biting his lip and arching his back as Isaac's talented fingers worked him over. When he came, it was with a startled cry of Isaac's name. It was always like this with Isaac, his release coming on him like a surprise shaking him down to his core. As he jerked beneath Isaac, the younger's hand continued to work over his cock until he was twisting away, over sensitized.

Derek collapsed down onto his back, panting as Isaac's tongue licked up his cock, then over his hips and stomach to lap up his release. As he continued mapping his way up Derek's chest, he dragged the older's pants back up to lay low on his hips. Their lips met in a sloppy kiss, and Derek gave a small groan when he tasted himself on Isaac's tongue. They kissed for awhile, slow and deep until they were relaxed, entwined together. Isaac tucked himself beneath Derek's chin, and Derek ran his hand up and down Isaac's spine possessively.

"Don't feel much like moving," Isaac murmured.

"We can spare an hour or so," Derek said.

Isaac snuggled closer.

Perhaps more than an hour could be spared. It had been awhile since Derek had felt so at peace. He would bathe in that feeling as long as he could. 


End file.
